by Vandemonium1
Another quickie built around another simple concept. I have, on occasion, thought of an original discovery method, but original consequences are harder to come by. I think this is one.
It’s only a shorty, less than 2,000 words with no sex—sorry—and it is mostly dialogue and quotes from newspaper reports.
If you spot anything unlikely to happen in real life, please don’t embarrass yourself by making a public comment. Instead, contact me on my private email address, ‘Boringtitwhohastroubleseparatingrealityfromfiction@gmail.com
My thanks to CTC, once again for the edit, as beautiful as she is talented.
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THE SCENE: The home of Dave and Jennifer Brown, childless married couple. Jennifer and her best friend, Julie, are going through their weekly ritual of sharing a wine at the kitchen table after some shopping.
“You’re putting me in a very awkward position, Jen. Dave is a friend of mine as well, after all, I’ve known him almost as long as you.”
“Yes, I realised that before I told you, Julie, but I just had to tell someone and I know I can trust you. I love Dave to bits and I’m happy we have a timetable to start a family, I really am. Peter is just something a little extra for me, some harmless fun; a last hurrah before I knuckle down and become a mum.”
“How can you say harmless? You know Dave. If he catches you, your arse will create a sonic boom on the way out the door with his foot behind it.”
“Don’t you think I don’t know that, silly? That’s why I’m going to such great lengths to make sure I’m never caught. I get off school at four, Dave never gets home before seven. That gives me two hours to rock Peter’s world then clean up before Dave gets here. If Dave were to come home early, all I would have to say to explain where I was is that I stayed at the school to grade some papers.
“Peter picks me up from behind a small store across the road from the schooI and drives me to a motel less than five minutes away so if Dave ever checks, my car is in the school carpark. I put on a wig before I get out of the car and the motel has a very discreet carpark. If Dave goes to the school and rings me, I’m five minutes away and can always say I went for a walk.
“I make sure Peter always uses a condom, so there’s no soiled panties and no risk of pregnancy or disease. So, you see, Julie, it’s risk free.”
“But why do it, Jen? It’s disrespectful, it’s risky and, goddammit, it’s just plain wrong. Does this guy Peter have a huge cock? Does he take you places you’ve never been to before?”
“Good god, no, Julie. His cock is about two inches shorter than Dave’s and, despite all his bragging, he doesn’t last nearly as long. I don’t tell him that, of course, and I’ve become quite an adept faker over the weeks.”
“Then why do it, Jen?”
“Well, at first it was the excitement. He’s rich and a highly successful businessman. He has this commanding manner and most of the time he just throws me down and takes me. It was quite hot and very flattering at first.”
“But that palled pretty quick, didn’t it?”
“Yes. After two or three times, I suppose.”
“Then why keep going? Is he blackmailing you or something?”
Jennifer hesitated, obviously worried how her next words portrayed her. Finally, she rose from the table, picked up her handbag and retrieved her purse. Something flat and shiny was laid on the table.
“My god, is that what I think it is?”
“Yup,” Jennifer stated with pride. “An American Express Platinum Card.”
“He gave this to you?”
“Yes.” Jennifer smiled with reflected pride.
“It has a five-thousand-dollar limit but seems to reset itself every few days. They say it opens doors. It certainly opens the doors of the most expensive jewellery shops in town. Do you want to see what a one carat diamond looks like?”
“Wow, five thousand dollars. This Peter guy must really like you.”
“Well, at the risk of flattering myself, of course I’m worth it.”
This was said with a smile.
“But, honestly, five grand is pocket change to someone like Peter.”
“So, how the hell did you sneak that big rock past Dave?”
“Well, that’s the downside, of course. I have all these beautiful, expensive things, but I have to hide them under the floorboards in my closet so my husband doesn’t see them. Quite frankly, it’s getting frustrating and my conscience is starting to play up a bit.”
“Just give up then, Jen. Don’t risk losing Dave over buying something neither of you will ever be able to afford on your salaries and thus you won’t ever be able to show him.”
“I will soon, I promise, Julie. By the end of next week, I reckon.”
“Why then?”
“Well, there’s this necklace that I’m paying off, it’s worth twelve grand. I made the second payment on it today so hopefully I can pay it off Monday or Tuesday.”
They were both startled when a huge bang shook the front of the house. It took several seconds for Jennifer to realise it was the front door being slammed. She raced to it to see what the hell was going on but the door was closed. Hurrying to the window at the side of the door, she was just in time to see Dave throw his phone through the open window of his car before jumping in. Jen dashed out, calling out Dave’s name even though she knew it was unlikely he’d hear her above the roar of the engine as he gunned it down the street.
EPILOGUE
Front page, Gippsland Times, 7th July 2020
MORWELL TEACHER SUSPENDED AFTER PROSTITUTION CHARGES
Jennifer Marie Brown, a married teacher from a local state school, has been suspended after being arrested on charges of prostitution…
Inspector Reynolds stated, “While we accept that no money changed hands for sexual services, we are convinced that Mrs. Brown’s motivation for the sexual acts was directly financial…
Mr. Brown, the alleged prostitute’s husband refused to grant an interview, stating only, “Who do you think called the police on her?”
Page 3, Gippsland Times, 17th September 2020
BEST FRIEND SUBPOENAED
The best friend of the former schoolteacher at the centre of the unusual prostitution case, Ms. Julie Smith, appeared in court today. Under oath, she confirmed allegations that her friend, Jennifer Brown, confided in her that she’d exchanged sexual services with a local businessman, whose name has been temporarily supressed, in exchange for free use of an American Express credit card. The public prosecutor pointed out in his opening address to the court that this fulfilled all three criteria to be classified as prostitution…
Ms. Smith went on to say that Mrs. Brown had admitted to her that she was only maintaining the relationship with the businessman for the use of that card. Mrs. Brown appeared devastated at her friend’s admissions.
Later that day, the state entered into evidence a voice recording of part of a conversation between the two women. Attempts were made by the defence to get the tape ruled inadmissible, but the judge ruled that as it was made by Mr. Brown in his own home, he would allow it into evidence…
Front page, Gippsland Times, 18th September 2020
GUILTY
Jennifer Marie Brown, the former school teacher who had an affair with local businessman, Peter Oldman, for the purposes of financial gain, has been found guilty of prostitution…
Judge Michaels, long known for his strong moral views, sentenced Mrs. Brown immediately after the jury gave their verdict. The application of the maximum sentence of one-year imprisonment, with half suspended, was warranted to act as a strong deterrent…
The hooker’s estranged husband, David Brown, simply said, “So perish all sluts,” as he left the courtroom…
Page 7, Gippsland Times, 19th September 2020
SHE’S NO DAUGHTER OF OURS
The parents of disgraced school teacher, Julie Brown, have distanced themselves from their daughter…
“We are good, Christian people who were very fond of her husband…”
“We certainly didn’t raise her like that…”
Front page, Gippsland Times, 19th September 2020
The wife of local businessman, Peter Oldman, has launched a co-ordinated attack on her husband after his girlfriend was sentenced yesterday and the suppression order against releasing his name expired. Filing for divorce was one of the more civilised of her actions…
…convened a special meeting of the board of the company her husband and she co-owned and he was the Managing Director of… revealing that the credit card given by Mr. Oldman to his lover, Jennifer Brown, was issued in the company’s name and represented a gross misuse of company funds. The board agreed and dismissed Mr. Oldman after using its 2% holding in the company to side with the aggrieved wife…
Page 5, Gippsland Times, 4th December 2020
HE’S FREE
The husband of the school teacher gaoled for prostitution after having an affair with local businessman, Peter Oldman, has been granted an uncontested divorce while his former wife languishes in prison…
“When the slut gets out, I’ll happily give her the one dollar she was awarded in the settlement…”
“Now please leave me alone,” stated Mr. Brown, who has been seen lately with his new love interest, Shirley Foster, former Miss Victoria…
Page 7, Gippsland Times, 6th December 2020
PROSTITUTE TEACHER SELLS STORY
The former school teacher, currently serving a prison sentence for prostitution has sold her story for an undisclosed, six-figure sum to national women’s magazine….
Page 3, Gippsland Times, 8th December 2020
GAZUMPED!
Police have seized all assets of the former Mrs. Julie Brown, the disgraced school teacher imprisoned for prostitution, under the state’s ‘Proceeds of Crime’ legislation…
“She is certainly allowed to humiliate herself in the national media by telling the country how she cheated on her husband for financial gain, but what she isn’t allowed to do is profit from her crimes…
Among the goods seized was a one carat diamond ring, proven to have been purchased with the credit card at the centre of her prostitution charge…
Page 12, Gippsland Times, 14th March 2021
The prostitute teacher has been released from prison…
…short spikey hair and sporting prison tatts…
…refused to comment except to say she’d be leaving town as soon as she had the price of the bus fare…
THE END
Now lighten the fuck up. Please thank, as I do, the Gentleman from Texas for the following.
Two Southern belles, one of whom was from Texas, were seated on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion talking. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, “When my first child was born, my husband had this beautiful mansion built for me.”
“That’s nice,” commented the lady from Texas.
“When my second child was born,” the first woman continued, “he bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive.”
Again, the lady from Texas commented, “That’s nice.”
“Then, when my third child was born,” boasted the first woman, “he bought me this very exquisite diamond and emerald bracelet.”
Once more, the lady from Texas commented, “That’s nice.”
“What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?” asked the first woman.
“My husband sent me to charm school,” answered the lady from Texas.
“Charm school!” exclaimed the first woman. “Land sakes, child, what on earth for?”
“So that instead of saying ‘who gives a shit’, I learned to say ‘That’s nice!'” replied the lady from Texas.
You kept confusing Jennifer and Julie as his wife’s name in the newspaper articles.
Read it before but never left a comment. Another creative story about a cheating wife getting her due in such an original way. ‘Dave’ really did a number on her. Thanks for yet another entertaining story. The joke wasn’t bad either, though I heard a similar one…it still gave me chuckle.
Finally! A story where a cheating wife is outed as the whore she most certainly is. Great story, but I need one of your long ones. Another collaboration with the gifted CTC would be most welcome. Thanks Vande.
Hi One and All,
Just a quick bit of info re the approving of comments. The blog is set up so that the first time someone comments their comment needs to be approved by either Van1 or myself. After that, as long as the commenter uses the same “Name” and email their comment is automatically approved.
The problems come if someone, as an example, uses “Dave Brown” the first time they comment and then “Dave B” the next time. Even if the same email has been used the blog will send me (CTC) and email to let me know I have a comment awaiting approval.
Occasionally, a commenter might give their full real name and in order to protect their anonymity I will edit it to their first name and the first initial of their surname, or if I know it, their online pseudonym.
Rest assured, we never edit the body of anyone’s comments.
Lastly, if you’ve commented for the first time and you live in the Northern Hemisphere, please be aware that Van1 and I are in the Southern Hemisphere and so it may be 12 hours before we know we have a comment awaiting approval. We do monitor it every morning and night, and even through the day if work allows, and we endeavour to approve as soon as possible.
Have a great one and stay safe and well through these troubling times,
CTC
Thanks CTC. Love this blog.
always a good day when there is a story from you. a shortie, and true to the point. The woman carries on for cash value.
Inquiring minds would like to know why my comment is awaiting moderation @10:22
when others who have commented after are posted.
Love this series. I was thinking after her conversation with her friend that she was nothing but a whore. Glad the husband saw it the same way. Thanks for the story.
Firefox59
Loved it
Loved it, but I always like your sick demented tales as they always brighten my day. Don’t change a thing in your writing. Your thought process resonates with some of us sick demented people out here with a sense of humor. You are truly one of the few original authors out there. Oh, by the way the origin of the joke is little old southern ladies always say, “Bless your heart.” which is Southern America genteel talk for, “Who gives a Shit!” Trust me on this as I get it all the time from my little old 90 year old southern mother who comes from Georgia.
I loved it. What a fantastic concept. My email went through as well lol. Five thumbs up.
Short but sweet as good as always.
Dean