The Gamble

byVandemonium1

There is no sex in this story, just a guy teaching his wife about respect. A little unrealistic perhaps but an unusual motivation I hope.

Thanks to XTCH, wherever you are, for the review. I’d also like to publically thank my wife for the inspiration for this and most of my woman-behaving-irrationally stories. I’m so grateful that I may even tell you one day. Just let me finish using my balls first.

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My wife and I married relatively late in life. I was 29 and she was 32. That was six years ago. We’d both lived life to the full until we met and so were basically broke. Premarital discussions included both our desires to have children and to have Julie as a stay at home mum until the youngest child started school. We both agreed that having a full time parent was essential to a child’s wellbeing for people that could afford it.

That meant we had until we started a family to build up a nest egg to keep us through the lean years. That translated as Julie holding down a full time job and me doing the same with as much overtime as I could eat. I settled into the routine of doing a double shift on Fridays, going into work late Saturday and doing another 12 hours. It was paying off as well. We now owned the house outright and the bank balance was climbing steadily. Recent discussions led me to believe that children were on the cards very soon. Certainly before Julie reached the big 40 and the odds of conceiving a first child plummeted.

That’s why the conversation we were having this Thursday night was so bizarre.

“Dave, I want to discuss a trial separation.”

How do you spell incredulous? I was shocked to the point of brain freeze. All I could think to say was.

“WHAT?”

Those of you that have ever been dumped by a boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, will know the feeling. The person doing the dropping has it all planned out and is totally prepared. The person being dropped is unprepared and confused. That was me right now. My next statement was thus an equally intellectually stimulating.

“Why?”

“I just think we need a bit of a break from each other. Allow us to appreciate each other like we used to. You have to admit Dave, you aren’t as romantic as you used to be and don’t appear to appreciate me as much as you used to. You always say you’re too tired to go out more than once a month. You don’t make love to me four times a week like you used to and quite frankly you’re putting on a bit of weight. Surely you’ll agree that a bit of a break will do us the world of good.”

If I’d been in a more rational frame of mind, I may have noted that in one monologue she’d changed from using ‘us’ at the start, to ‘me’ at the end. As it was, it went right over my addled head.

“How about we say a month Dave. Then see how we are going. I’ll be staying at Freda’s. Feel free to ring me whenever you like, but I don’t think we should see each other more than once a week. More than that and it won’t be much of a separation will it? Just be assured Dave, that I love you very much and know we will make beautiful babies together. I’m sure that after a month, two at the most we’ll be back where we used to be.”

With that Julie got up, retrieved two suitcases from the back hall and marched towards the front door.

“Don’t I get any say in this at all Julie,” I stuttered.

“My mind is made up Dave.”

“Please sit down Julie.”

She reluctantly returned.

“Who is he Julie?”

“God, I knew you would think that. I just told you, I love you Dave, only you. There is no one else. So there’s no need to bug my phones, follow me, put a GPS tracker in my car or hire a PI. In fact, if you do any of those things, I may interpret that as you not trusting me and have to review our relationship.”

She made to get up again but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back down.

“This is unfair Julie. You’ve had days or weeks to plan your little speech and your little gamble, but it’s all new to me.”

“What gamble Dave?”

I was glad that her face was finally showing some of the confusion I felt.

“Surely you can see that you have just put our relationship at risk Julie, with this unilateral little stunt of yours. It reeks of contempt. I’ve always treated you as an equal partner in our relationship and would never dream of doing something this risky without at least asking your opinion.”

“What risk Dave? I love you. You love me. Where’s the harm? It’s only for a month or so. If I miss you before then, I’ll be back like a shot. What do you mean by contempt?”

“What I mean is that you haven’t given me a chance to defend myself. For example, we hardly go out together because I work so much overtime on Fridays and Saturdays. We agreed on the overtime to improve our financial position. We don’t make love as often as we used to, partly because we have been married for six years and partly because I’m always so buggered. I’ve put on weight because you suggested I take the supervisors position for the extra cash and it isn’t as active as being on the tools. That’s just what I have thought of in the last two minutes so please can you stay so we can discuss it further?”

“I’m sorry Dave, I promised Freda that I would go out with her tonight.”

With that she got up, picked up her bags and walked towards the door. All I could think to say was, “Just remember that you are married Julie.”

With only a slight pause, she continued out the door.

I got bugger all sleep that night and consequently was in no fit state to do a 16 hour shift the next day but it was too late to change it. The afternoon shift supervisor had already made plans after I’d promised to relieve him again. In my job you can’t let your guard down too often. Consequently, I was standing in the wrong spot at 10PM Friday, when a 35T loader came round the corner and almost cleaned me up. I threw myself aside at the last moment and felt the hot breath of the exhaust in my face from my position on the ground. Adrenalin got me through the rest of the shift. It didn’t help that I was hungry. Thursday was Julie’s weekly shopping day. She’d skipped it to concentrate on her packing.

I was back on the job 10AM the next day with sandwiches made from week old bread.

I stopped at a 24 hour corner store the next night for some supplies. When I arrived at home after 11.30PM, the message light on the phone was blinking. It was Julie saying she missed me and thanking me for giving her some space by not ringing her. She said not to as she would be out till late that night. I was starting to get very resentful that I was working my ass off to put three times as much in the bank as her, while she was living the high life. Funny, I’d never resented that before.

Neither of us rang each other Sunday. Monday I went to see the boss and said I regretted that I wouldn’t be able to do any overtime for a while. When he pressed me I admitted to the close shave I’d had on Friday night. He was shocked and quickly agreed with me.

When I hadn’t contacted Julie by Wednesday, she rang me. I don’t know why, as she didn’t appear to have much to say. I felt a bit guilty about giving her the cold shoulder, so Thursday after dinner I headed over to Freda’s house. As a peace offering I took a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates. Freda was Julie’s best friend. She’d been divorced for just over a year. I never knew exactly why, but I suspect it was because she may have cheated on her husband. She explained that Julie was in the shower.

I waited on the couch and Freda sat beside me. She got much closer than I was comfortable with. I shuffled away subtly but she followed. Thank god Julie came down at this point. I gave her the flowers and chocolates. Our conversation was a bit stilted. Not anything like the easy communication we’d always shared. After some small talk she asked, “Was there something you wanted Dave?”

I was a bit taken aback by that, I must say.

“No, I just dropped in to ask my wife out on a date tomorrow night.”

“I’m sorry, Freda and I already have something planned. Hang on, tomorrow is Friday. You work Friday nights”

“Not any more I don’t Julie, I chucked that in.”

“But what about the money?”

“Well, I’ve decided to prioritise my marital and physical health. Now that I have to do all my own shopping, cleaning and cooking, I’m even more tired than ever. When I got your message at 11.30 last Saturday night, the one where you told me you were going out, I decided I was being a complete mug by working myself to death like that. Last Friday I was so tired I was almost killed at work.”

Julie looked shocked at that. She came over and hugged me.

“Don’t get hurt darling, I’ll need your little sperms in a few months’ time.” At that point Freda came back in and spoiled the mood.

“Sorry for kicking you out Dave but the girls will be here shortly for a Tupperware party.”

I bolted. There are some things a man was never meant to see. Julie saw me out. I had to ask.

“Please come home Julie, I miss you.”

“Another three weeks Dave, then we’ll talk about it.”

I noticed she looked very uncomfortable when she said this, like she hated saying no. Any resurgent good feelings I may have had though, vanished as she added. “Why don’t you take a month break from overtime, get your strength back. We’ll need that money Dave.”

I just looked at the flowers and chocolates, still lying where she’d casually tossed them, and left.

She rang twice in the next week. Both times she seemed very upset that I hadn’t rung her. I explained that working full time, cooking for myself and going to the gym didn’t leave much time. I think that went a little over her head.

My weekly visit was on the Tuesday night the following week. Again Julie was showering. I didn’t make the same mistake as last time and sit on the couch. Freda was dressed up and stood very close as she spoke. It really made me feel uncomfortable. Julie came downstairs, also dressed up. She looked a little uncomfortable as she explained that I really should have rung. If I had, then I would have known they were going out. I felt more than a little humiliated, as I was bundled out. I could have sworn I heard giggles from the other side of the door. I vowed that was the last time I would debase myself. Neither of us rang for the rest of the week.

That Sunday, I was working out in the back yard. I’d cobbled together some homemade weight equipment and already felt myself approaching my previous strength. Suddenly I felt arms encircling me from behind and a body pressing into my sweaty back. I enjoyed my first human bodily contact in over two weeks. Suddenly I froze as Freda’s voice sounded right next to my ear. “Sorry gorgeous, I just couldn’t resist this.” Shocked, I span around, disengaging at the same time. More to cover my discomfiture than to be friendly, I asked her if she wanted coffee. I noticed Freda was dressed in one of her usual slutty outfits.  I have to admit though, it did show off her rather impressive cleavage to its full advantage. Inside I made sure to sit at the end of the kitchen table. It didn’t work. Freda dragged a chair right next to mine, so close our legs were touching. We made small talk, never my strong point.

“Aren’t you going to ask how Julie is going?”

“No. She made it quite plain that it was no business of mine.”

Freda smiled.

“She’s a bit upset you know. She was hoping you would be begging and groveling by now.”

“Sorry Freda, not my style. I asked her out on a date that first time I came to your place. She turned me down, saying she’d already made plans. I notice she never rang and asked to reschedule. I have no idea what this separation is all about so I’m just going to sit and wait it out to see if she comes back or our marriage ends.”

I knew everything I said would be repeated to Julie. I expected Freda to look worried at my last statement, but she just smiled and put her hand on my leg. This had to be some kind of test. One that I knew I would pass, as I didn’t find Freda the slightest bit emotionally attractive. That body though was a different matter. I noted that another button of her top had magically undone itself.

“You know I’ve always admired you and Julie as a couple, don’t you? You must be really secure in your love to let her date other guys or are you just pretending you’re not worried?”

My blood ran cold. We hadn’t talked about dating during this unilateral separation but my statement of, “Don’t forget you’re married,” should have been self-explanatory.

Without a word I left the house and jumped into my car. Arriving at Freda’s house, I barged straight in. Out the kitchen window I could see a bikini clad Julie sunning herself on the deck. With determination I strode out.

“Julie, what is this shit Freda tells me about you dating?”

“I haven’t been dating Dave. We did meet a couple of guys last Tuesday at a club and danced a bit. We may have mentioned that we might be there again last night and met them again, but that’s hardly a date.”

I would have expected Julie to look worried while she defended herself like this, but she didn’t. If I had to pick a word to describe how she did look, it would be determined.

“Oh, and what happened last night wife dear?”

“Nothing. Just more dancing. Nothing inappropriate. We haven’t kissed or anything like that. They just bought us some drinks and we danced a bit.”

“Nothing inappropriate. Since when has it been appropriate for a married woman to dance with other men when her husband isn’t even there? I suppose at the end of the evening you just happened to mention to them when you would be there next.”  No response.

“Well if you meet them again, it will definitely be a date and just as definitely be very inappropriate. Look Julie, all this is really hurting me you know? I still have no idea what this separation is all about. Can we skip the next two weeks and just have you come home right now? I really miss you.”

“No Dave, not yet. In fact, I think we’ll go past the month. I haven’t regained my old feelings for you yet.”

Again she looked oddly uncomfortable. Like she was saying something she didn’t really want to. Of all her irrational acts of late, this was the one that was confusing me the most. I just stared at her for a moment longer, then got up to leave.

 “You could ask me out on another date you know? You may get lucky this time.”

Without pausing or looking back I threw out, “Or you could ask me out. You know where I live.”

From Monday onwards Julie began ringing the home phone every night. The conversations were always brief and uncomfortable. I started to get the impression that she was just checking I was at home. I really didn’t like the implications of that.

On Friday night she rang at 7PM. The home phone diversion to my mobile, I’d programed, worked like a charm. I could clearly hear music in the background. I was almost at Freda’s house where I confirmed Julie’s car was missing. I trawled the night club strip, 10 minutes from Freda’s, until I saw Julie’s car in the carpark of one of the bars. It was tucked away in the back corner.

I peered through the window of the bar until I saw Julie and Freda sitting alone in a booth. As I watched two more girls joined them. One I vaguely recognised as another friend of Julie’s, Debra, the other was a stranger. I watched Debra introduce the newcomer to Julie and Freda. While they were thus distracted I snuck in the back corner and hid at the far end of the bar. 10 minutes later I caught a lucky break. The booths ran in a double row with a wall dividing them, effectively splitting the bar in two. I noticed the couple in the booth adjacent to the girls leave. Making sure they weren’t looking my way, I sat down in the vacant booth. By stooping slightly, I would be totally unseen until one of them stood up. I covered that by sitting with my back to them. With effort I could catch most of what was said. Debra was talking.

“You’re mad Julie. From what you’ve described, your Dave is much more romantic than my husband.”

Another voice cut in, presumably belonging to the stranger.    

“Yeah, me too. I would have killed for half of the things you say you get, from my ex.”

Freda cut in.

“Don’t you think Julie deserves better, I mean look at her, she’s beautiful.”

Debra cut in again. “I dunno guys, it sounds like a very dangerous game to me. How do you treat him Julie? Do you spoil him rotten? It sounds like with working so much overtime the guy must be wasted most of the time. Do you keep him in bed all Sunday and screw his ass off? Fuck, if he was mine I would.”

Now Julie has a very soft voice so I didn’t hear a word of her reply that went on for several minutes.

All I heard when Julie finished and Debra re-started was, “Is that all. And you’re making this guy fight for you.”

At that point, someone started the jukebox. I used the opportunity to evacuate my bladder. When I got out, my booth had been stolen. The bar was filling rapidly. I felt safe returning to my corner of the bar. I wondered how long it would be before the guys turned up. Over the next hour, I watched numerous guys approach the girls, trying their luck. They all left disappointed.

Then I watched the strange girl heading for the bar. She walked its length looking for an opening. As she approached my corner I made a big deal of making room for her. She smiled at me, then ordered four drinks. Up close she was quite an attractive lady. Short, brown curly hair and an easy smile. As she waited for her drinks, she turned to me.

“So, do you come here often?”

“Hey, that’s my line.”

“Well you were too slow.”

We chatted easily until her drinks arrived. I didn’t miss her searching glance at my wedding ring finger. Because of my job, I hardly ever wear my ring. When her drinks did arrive she surprised me.

“Look, the conversation at my table is bloody awful. Do you mind if I use you as an excuse to bunk out?”

“What. Do I mind if a beautiful girl talks to me? What do you reckon? I should warn you though. I am married but my marriage is in extreme difficulty. That’s why I’m here.”

“Wow. Well thank you for your honesty. I’m just looking for companionship, so if it’s still okay I would still like to chat.”

 She smiled at my mischievous grin and was back two minutes later. We chatted very easily for the next hour and a half. I kept glancing over to make sure we weren’t observed. I noticed that a man had taken the vacant seat at the girls table and was buying all the drinks. Sarah was a delightful girl and we were very comfortable together.

 At 11.30, Debra came over. I didn’t see her until it was too late to hide. She had a vaguely puzzled look on her face. I knew the feeling. She knew she’d seen me before but didn’t remember where. I smiled as Sarah introduced us. She whispered in Sarah’s ear what I was almost sure was, “You’re right, he is cute.”

“Julie has offered us a lift home. Do you want a ride? I could see the indecision on Sarah’s face, so I helped her out.

“I’ve really got to get going anyway. Lovely to talk to you Sarah.” I kissed her on the cheek. She blushed and left. Half way to the door she returned and gave me a business card. Without a word, but with another smile, she left. I watched all three girls walk out, leaving Freda and the guy at the table. I decided to give them a five minute head start out the carpark.

Two minutes later my phone rang. The caller ID showed it was Julie ringing through the diverted home phone. After greetings, she asked why there was music in the background.

“Are you having a party at the house?”

“I’m at a bar Jules. I’ve spent the evening chatting to a beautiful girl.”

“What the fuck Dave, who said you could do that?”

“Are you saying that you are the only one free to date? Are you saying I’m not free as well?”

“Well you aren’t. While you are married to me, I expect you to behave appropriately.”

“So you’re saying you didn’t ring me from a bar earlier?”

“Well, yes.”

“And I suppose those guys from last time didn’t show up did they.”

“No, yes, maybe. Look Dave, I told you I’m not dating.”

It was good to see that I wasn’t the only one confused.

“Look Julie, can we please cut this crap and go back to how it was before. Come home now, I’ll meet you there.”

There was a pause, then.

“No, I’m sorry Dave. I’m just not ready.”

“OK, just come for the night then.”

“No, sorry Dave, I’ll call you later.”

An hour later, I was almost asleep when I heard the garage door open. I leapt out of bed, hoping against hope that Julie had changed her mind. From the window I saw Julie’s car across the street. Then the garage door closed. Thus assured that I was home, she drove off. I went back to pondering what everything meant that I’d learnt this evening. With no clear idea, I got the impression things were spiraling out of control.

This time Freda came over Saturday afternoon. I asked her what the hell her friend was playing at, but she denied all knowledge. Not very convincingly though. This time when she tried to smooch up to me I was expecting.it. I kept her at arm’s length.

“What the hell are you playing at Freda? I’m married to your best friend for Christ’s sake.”

“For the moment Dave. I just wanted to know if after Julie leaves you, I have a chance at you.”

This sounded so contrived as to be laughable. But it did solidify the first of my suspicions.

“Don’t you mean, if Julie leaves me Freda?”

“Of course Dave. I really hope you make it.”

Being vague and telling her I felt really uncomfortable with the situation, I bundled her out the door. Freda really didn’t want to go. She’d gone to the trouble of packing a picnic for us. In the end I really had to be blunt and tell her how inappropriate her behaviour was before she got the hint.

“Are you and Julie going out again tonight?”

“Yes, probably.”

Was our parting conversation.

Fuck it. I rang Sarah. She seemed pleased to hear from me but said it was impossible for her to get away tonight. She suggested Tuesday. I felt honour bound to remind her.

“Look, it will be as just friends Sarah. I’m still in the middle of a very messy personal situation at the moment. I just really enjoyed your company last night. I promise to treat you with the greatest of respect until it is all sorted out.”

After saying that she’d enjoyed our chat and her situation was a little complicated as well, she rang off, saying she was looking forwards to Tuesday.

Monday morning marked the start of a new pattern with Julie. She began ringing me at 6AM every work day, about 6PM when I usually got home from work and again just before bedtime. Ostensibly it was because she missed me, but my entreaties for her to come back were rebuffed. It was fairly clear I was being checked on. Wednesday I noticed a message on the home phone answering machine. It was only from a marketing company but was significant as it hadn’t diverted to my mobile. Checking the home phone, I found the diversion gone. So I’d had a visitor had I?

Tuesday Sarah met me at the front door of her apartment and we left straight away. She looked gorgeous. Once we were seated in the restaurant, I opened the conversation.

“So, would you like to tell me why your personal life is a bit complicated?”

“Yes, her name is Hannah.”

It turns out Hannah was Sarah’s three year old daughter. The father did a bunk after he decided family life was too serious. Sarah’s mother was looking after her tonight. Keen to distract her from asking me about my personal troubles, I changed the topic of conversation.

“The other night when we talked at the bar, you said the conversation at your table was bloody awful. What was all that about?”

“Oh, that. Awful conversation and stupid people. There was a woman there called Julie. She has just temporarily separated from her husband. But the stupid woman fully intends going back to him. They are just about to start a family and she separated from him to try to force him to fight for her, you know, spoil her more, be more romantic and things like that. The sad thing was though, that when she described what he did, he sounded pretty good already. He took her flowers every week, took her on date nights every month and always seemed to be spoiling her. Despite the fact that he works late every Saturday, he gets up early on Sundays and makes her breakfast. He even took her on a surprise cruise last year. Gee, I would have been happy with half of that from my ex. It made my friend Deb sad as well. She doesn’t get anything like that.”

“Some girls just don’t know when they’re well off I suppose.”

“Believe me it gets stupider. Even before they separated she was doing all sorts of things to try to make him jealous.”

“Like what?”

“Well apparently she used to come home from girl’s nights out later and later, having deliberately put men’s cologne on her. Bloody hell, once she even got a pair of panties from her friend Freda. She’d just been laid so you can imagine how they were. She put them on the floor of the bedroom till the next day. The guy didn’t notice a thing.”

“Her husband sounds pretty naïve to me.”

“Or just loved her so much that he never saw those things. When all that didn’t work, she and her friend cooked up the trial separation thing. The idea is that he was supposed to get desperate and fight like hell for her. But the guy is doing nothing. Good for him. When he didn’t react like he was supposed to they decided to escalate the whole thing. She stopped ringing him. He ignored her. Then she got her friend to put the idea in his head that she was out dating. With all they’ve done, the poor guy is just not responding. To tell you the truth, I have to admire him. It’s exactly what I would do if someone treated me that way. What was really sad though, was when Deb asked how much effort she put into the marriage. I think Julie realised at that point just how one sided her relationship was. You would think that would spur her to stop all the nonsense but it didn’t. They’ve really painted themselves into a corner now. They’re stuck and have no idea what to do. All because a proud man isn’t playing the game by their rules.”

“Well, she could go back to him, lay it all out and get back to normal.”

“Yes, that’s what I would do and I think that’s what she really wants to do. Except, I think her friend is keeping her on track. Freda gave her a couple of real funny looks Friday. Sort of hungry.”

“Could it be that the friend is trying to drive in a wedge between them to steal the husband for herself?”

“You know, you may be right. That would certainly fit what I saw. That would sure make her one cold, evil bitch though.”

“If you were the husband what would you do?”

“Well I don’t know how their relationship has been till now, but my reflex would be to dump the stupid, ditzy bitch. Move on to someone who would really appreciate him.”

At that point our meals arrived and we changed to more neutral topics. I couldn’t believe how comfortable I felt with Sarah. When the waitress cleared the empties away, my conscience wouldn’t allow me to continue this charade.

“You know Sarah. All that you’ve said has impressed me that you are a very decent person with very healthy values.”

“Why thank you kind sir.”

“Do you think I’m a decent person?”

With no hesitation, Sarah replied, “Yes. I pride myself on being a good judge of character and I would stake money on you being a very nice person.”

Oh dear, this was going to be difficult. I reached across the table and grabbed her hands, I suppose in a vain attempt to stop her escaping. Taking a deep breath, I plunged straight in.

“Please forgive me Sarah, but I’ve been a bit deceptive. My justification is that I am really confused at the moment and would do just about anything to ease the turmoil I feel. I want you to know I really respect you, so I will tell you the whole truth. Let me introduce myself properly. My name is Dave and I have been married for six years to a girl called Julie. Four weeks ago she announced, over my objections, that she wanted a trial separation. A new friend advised me tonight that I should ditch the bitch. Due to the extreme disrespect she has shown me, plus the awful pain she has caused, I was thinking along the same lines. You were right, I did treat her like a queen but only now realise how little she gave back.”

I watched a cavalcade of emotions cross Sarah’s face before settling on horror. She put her clenched fist across her mouth.

“Oh my god. Did I call your wife a stupid bitch?”

“Actually, I was deeply offended that you called the stupid bitch a stupid bitch.”

That broke the ice a little but I could see Sarah was still conflicted. I hurriedly added.

“Do you realise that the first words out of your mouth weren’t how I’d insulted you but how you may have insulted me? That just confirms what a lovely person you are. Can you forgive me?”

“Yes. You did use me a little, but I can see where you were coming from. Is that why you talked to me Friday night? Were you looking for a spy?”

“Hey, you chatted me up remember? Can I count on your friendship until this thing is resolved one way or another?”

“Sure Dave. But friendship is all I can offer. I don’t want anything to do with killing your marriage.”

“Thanks. Your friendship is all I want at the moment. From my point of view, I thought we had a perfectly happy marriage with no hint that Julie was dissatisfied. I came home from work one Thursday and she sprang the trial separation on me. She was just going to leave but I forced her to give me some explanation. Not enough to stop me being really confused though. Because I put all my effort into either work or Julie I don’t actually have any close friends.”

“Is there any chance you can patch things up?”

“I dunno, Sarah, a big part of me thinks I would feel like a complete wimp taking her back after the way she has treated me. Plus, after talking to you I realise how one sided my marriage was, romantically. I’m a bit embarrassed to tell you the truth.”

By mutual, unspoken agreement we changed to more neutral topics from there. We ended up having a lovely evening, which ended when Sarah wanted to relieve her mother. It was my suggestion that she thought through things and contacted me when she’d processed it all. I said I would understand if I never heard from her again.

On the following day I was walking towards the grocery store when I was hailed from the coffee shop just down the street. I turned to see Julie, Freda and another girl with her back to me. When I got to the table my heart sank as I recognised Debra. She gave the game away by exploding with, “You”, as she recognised me. The implications quickly unfolded to me. Julie would soon know I was spying on her. She would also know that I’d seen there were no men involved in her Friday night bar trip. Depending on what Debra said, Julie might even deduce that Sarah had given the whole game away. I should have been worried, but interestingly, realised I wasn’t. I’d have to analyse that later. After a brief, polite conversation I left them to it, explaining it was time to get home and cook. I watched Julie’s face to see if this elicited any guilt but it went right over her head.

The expected phone call didn’t come until 9.30 that night. I was almost asleep and no one is at their best in that state.

“Dave, didn’t I warn you not to spy on me? The fact that you did just shows me your lack of trust in me. Not only that, it shows an extreme lack of respect.”

“Look at it from my point of view Julie. You pull this stunt on me and refuse to tell me what it is all about. Don’t you think I may want to try to find out for myself?”

“It was a clear violation of our rules Dave.”

“Your rules Julie.”

I waited for this to sink in. What a waste of valuable brain time. Her next comments were strangely philosophical.

“Dave dear, I just don’t know what to make of all this. This trial separation just isn’t working out as I thought it would. I’m not sure if I love you as much as I need to. I think we need to extend by another month or two, see what happens.”

She paused, obviously waiting for me to explode. I stayed silent. Unless she’d had a sudden change of heart since last Friday, then this was just an escalation to get me to try harder. What was the old saying? ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again’. Personally I preferred the mining variant of this. ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try more explosives next time.’ It wasn’t much of an escalation though. Simply extending the separation and confirming her reduced opinion of me was pretty lame I thought. Of course there was more to come.

“All right Dave, I didn’t want to do this, but I think it’s only fair. I think I should be able to date other guys. Maybe if I do that, I will realise how good you are and regain my old feelings.”

Again she paused for the inevitable explosion. This time my silence wasn’t deliberate. I was just speechless. When I could speak, I chose not to. I knew I couldn’t control what I would say but knew it was very unlikely to solve any problems,

“Are you still there Dave?”

I still didn’t answer. I briefly considered telling her that I knew exactly what she was up to, but it seemed to me that she had to decide to do the right thing for the right reason. If I laid all my cards on the table she would probably come back but the underlying problem would still be there.

“Dave?”

“I think you dating would be a really bad move Julie. In fact, let me be quite clear on this. If you do date or in any way behave in a manner that is inappropriate as a married woman, then I will consider that you have opted out of our marriage. By inappropriate I mean, meeting a guy more than once, dancing with, touching or kissing another guy. Am I being clear enough? I really don’t know if we can salvage this marriage even if you come back today, but I’m willing to try. Will you please come back where you belong Julie?

This time the silence was hers.

“Well I don’t think you are in a position to dictate terms, Dave. You don’t own me. I think I’m free to find a bit of the romance and companionship I’ve missed out on for the last month.”

This was the point I seriously began to think Julie was deranged. Should I point out that the reason she was missing romance was that she’d run out on the romancer?

“So Julie, you still insist on opening up this marriage do you? Look, you never did give me a reason for this separation that I could understand. The closest theory I could think of was that you were trying to make me work harder, put more effort into our marriage. I dismissed that as being too disrespectful. One advantage of having you gone is that it gives me time to think. I realise now that I appear to have put much more effort into our relationship than you have. Now I’m back to being totally bewildered.”

Again the silence. When she broke it this time, it was in a voice one beat away from a sob. Like she was slavishly following a plan that she suddenly realised was seriously flawed.

“I’m sorry Dave, my mind is made up.”

The dial tone announced the end of the conversation and I suspected, our marriage.

Bizarrely when I came home Thursday and Friday nights Julie’s car was parked 100m along the street in the opposite direction from the one I approached from. I watched her drive away five minutes later.

Sarah rang Thursday night. She told me I was totally forgiven. I was more relieved than I can describe. She asked for an update, after assuring me that she was only asking as a friend. I described my latest conversations with Julie adding my analysis or her probable motive.

“What are you going to do now Dave?”

“Just sit back and wait for her to give our marriage the coup de gras I suppose.”

“Do you want me to spy on her this weekend Dave?”

“No, don’t soil yourself with this one Sarah,”

“How about we find out where they are and you take me on a date to the same place?”

“No, I won’t stoop to her level. Good thinking though. I would like to see you this weekend.”

We negotiated easily for a few minutes and finally decided on a Sunday afternoon picnic. She didn’t push me on why I wasn’t available Friday or Saturday. She knew. We must have talked for about two hours.  

Friday it took no time at all to find Julie and Freda. The fact they were at the same old bar told me one of two possibilities were in play. Either Julie was really confident that I was too scared to spy on her or more likely she was relying on me spying on her. This time I observed all the action through the windows, slightly ashamed of myself for my actions.

This night Julie was well behaved. There was just her, Freda and Debra. They just chatted until about 10PM. Freda accepted several dance offers but the other two declined several. Eventually two persistent guys moved in, obviously zeroing in on Julie and Freda. Debra left shortly afterwards leaving the foursome sitting at the table. All night the two girls furtively checked out all the dark corners of the bar. I was pleasantly surprised when Freda and Julie left alone at 11.30. I followed the taxi to their place and stayed watching until the lights went out.

Saturday was a different story. Again it was the same bar. This time the same two guys were waiting and moved in straight away. At 8.05PM my marriage ended. After Freda left the table to dance with her chosen half of the dynamic duo, the other guy made his move. He shuffled up closer to Julie and I could see from my vantage point that he had his hand on her leg. In the five minutes I gave her to get him to remove it she must have scanned the bar at least six times.

I walked into the bar. When she saw me coming at least she had the decency to push the guys hand away. The expression on her face could only be described as smug, as she delivered her opening gambit.

“Dave, I warned you not to spy on me again.”

Her unfortunate victim, sensing my mood, stood up. Whether to confront me or escape I will never know. Ignoring all socially acceptable behaviour, I stepped in real close to him, accentuating his diminutive size next to my 6’ 1”. In a low growl I delivered the shortest sentence in the English language.

“Go!”

He ran.

I kept my eye on Julie’s face as I sat down in his vacated seat and pulled a roll of papers from my breast pocket.

“These are papers for a mutually agreed divorce. I’ve already filled them out. All you have to do is sign them. I’ve included a separate agreement on splitting our assets, I can’t see any reason not to split everything 50/50. It makes sense if I keep the house as you have already moved out.”

I watched the smug expression turn to one closer akin to horror. I didn’t wait to see the rest of the show. I desperately wanted to avoid Julie seeing my watering eyes. She didn’t say a word as I escaped. Curious I went back to watching through the window. Julie was crying freely. Within two minutes Freda returned confused. Once she glanced at the papers lying on the table a huge grin spread across her face. Over the next hour I watched Freda do most of the talking. Fifteen minutes in, Julie stopped crying. An hour later she looked quite relaxed. Shit this friend was good. It appeared she’d managed somehow to convince Julie that their plot was on track.

I slept badly again that night. I knew the final confrontation was still to come. More pain for the woman that I just couldn’t turn my love off from.

I was expecting Freda’s visit the next day and pretended I wasn’t home when she came. I ignored several phone calls from her. There were none from Julie.

At 1.30PM I knocked on Sarah’s door. She took one look at the bunch of red roses in my hand and gave me a huge hug.

“I was going to ask you how you went the last few days, but I can see.”

God this woman was perceptive. She knew friends didn’t give each other roses or that I would give them to her with things half finished. She invited me in and we walked up to an older lady. Putting her arm around me Sarah introduced us.

“Dave, this is my mum, Laura. Mum, this is my boyfriend, Dave.”

I was speechless but in a nice way this time. I was also wondering how much Sarah had told her mother. Laura solved that problem for me by asking.

“So, is it finished?”

“All over bar the shouting as my old Dad used to say.”

I then updated them on the latest developments. Adding my supposition that Julie hadn’t accepted it as serious. There was still work to do to prove I WAS serious. By breaking the rules, she showed exactly how much respect she had for me. They could both see and hear my pain. Laura hugged me as well.

Then a little angel entered the room. Hannah had finished her nap. Again I was introduced. She looked disappointed when Sarah explained that we were going out, even after Laura explained how much fun they were going to have. I whispered to Sarah.

“Can’t she come with us?”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re a package deal, I accept that.”

“That would be great. It tears me up to be away from her all week while I’m at work, so I like to spend all weekend with her.”

Hannah beamed when she was told the news. We had a great afternoon by the river. Sarah complained of feeling a little left out. But from the size of the smile on her face I knew I didn’t have to take it seriously. I delivered both ladies home where Laura had already catered me into dinner. I left giving Sarah another chaste kiss on the cheek.

Julie must have been in her hiding spot just up the road when I got home. I hadn’t even got the front door open when she pulled into the driveway. She left the engine running and got out. In her hands she held the papers I’d given her Saturday.

“Here you go Dave, signed and witnessed. Goodnight.”

I was stunned while she retreated back to her car. She hopped back in and belted up. Putting her car in reverse she wound down the window and called over.

“Now I’ve called your little bluff maybe you can ask me out on a date this week sometime. I’m free on Wednesday.”

With that, she took off. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus be fucked. I’m from earth, Julie appeared to be from somewhere near the Horsehead nebula. If it was all over bar the shouting, then it was going to be some fugly shouting.   

The shouting started Monday evening. Freda was waiting for me in my driveway when I got home from work. Before I could react, she grabbed me and kissed me full on the lips as I stepped out of my car. I pushed her roughly away shouting, “Listen, once and for all, I am not the slightest bit interested in you Freda.”

Any response from her was hijacked by the gunning of an engine followed by the squealing of tyres as Julie streaked from her hiding place. Freda saw her coming and tried to escape down the driveway as Julie drove in it. She almost made it. Before the car even stopped rolling, Julie threw open the door which knocked Freda over. Freda sprang to her feet but was knocked flat by a slap to the side of the head that had an awful lot of rage in it. This time Freda was in no hurry to get up.

Now in normal circumstances, staying down would have been a good move. When faced by an enraged tigress, who suddenly realised she’d been taken for a fool, it wasn’t. Julie started laying into her with her feet. I would no more have got between them than if they were rabid dogs. Julie’s fury was incandescent. Finally, when Julie was tiring but still foaming at the mouth, I risked tackling her to the ground. At that precise moment a police car cruised by. Julie and I were cuffed and an ambulance was called for Freda. 

The police interviewed Julie first. I could hear her yelling from where I was in the holding cells. They finally gave up and took her to cool her heels in the cell across from me. When it was my turn I gave them the full story. I tried to make them see that Julie’s actions were justified. I felt I owed her that. I was released with an apology at 11PM.

I went to work Monday as usual, never being so glad that I worked over 1.6km (a mile) underground where cell phones didn’t work. On the way home I updated Sarah via phone. She invited me for dinner again and passed on a request from Hannah. “Could that nice Dave read me a bedtime story tonight?”

I arrived home an hour later than normal. I worked with Freda’s father and called in at his place to talk to him and his wife. I explained what I knew of their daughter’s manipulation of my wife. Neither of them seemed particularly surprised. I urged them to try to influence Freda not to press charges against Julie for assault. They promised to do what they could.

Julie’s car was in the garage when I finally arrived home. Walking into the master bedroom I saw her empty suitcases on the bed. The shower was running.

Waiting downstairs with trepidation, I rang Sarah and cancelled our dinner date. We discussed what tactics Julie was likely to try. In hindsight, we both got it wrong.

Julie strode down the stairs, brimming with her usual confidence.

“What’s for dinner Dave?”

I didn’t answer, so she came over and stood right in front of my chair.

“I’ve decided to forgive you Dave. We’ve both acted a bit silly I know, but let’s put it all behind us. I’ve come back. If you haven’t organised dinner yet, let’s go out.”

When I found my tongue again I couldn’t help blurting out. “Can you tell me exactly how I ‘acted a bit silly’ Julie and what I have done to be forgiven for?”

“Why, for the hurt you caused me with that silly divorce trick Dave. That was really low of you. Luckily I knew you were bluffing all along.”

“What makes you think it was a bluff Julie?”

“Because Freda said…….”

Whatever delusions were keeping Julie going until this point, looked like they just evaporated. She’d been so far under Freda’s bullshit spell, that some remnant had still clung on. Until now. Her face went white and she sat with a thud on the coffee table. I sat there in fascinated discomfort while a new reality levered its way into her mind. The show lasted five or six minutes. Finally.

“I gave you up didn’t I? You weren’t bluffing with the divorce were you? I was so sure you were that I just signed it.” I shook my head sadly from side to side.

“For the record Julie. You didn’t give me up. You threw me away. I’ve always done everything I could think of or had the energy to do, for you, Julie. What did I get? You just walked out, leaving me lost and alone. I tried to warn you. Didn’t I say that it was a gamble? How much more direct could I have been? After all the love and effort I put in, I was expecting, no I knew I’d earned at least your respect and loyalty. Did I get those? No I got kicked in the teeth. Disrespected and left broken and confused. Did you ever look at the balance of effort in our marriage and see the same Dave sided result I have seen over the last five weeks? No, you just let some manipulative bitch convince you that you could get more.” 

“Well you can’t have Freda now. I’ve sorted her out!”

Where the fuck did that come from?

“Look, this has nothing to do with Freda, ok. Sure, I realised at one point that this was all just a con on her part to drive a wedge between us but I’ve never thought of her as anything but the skank she is.”

“So we’re all right, aren’t we Dave?”

This was it. This was the biggie. The point of no return.

“No we’re not ok Julie. We have the divorce papers to prove it. I can’t get past the disrespect you’ve shown to me all along. Not to mention all the threats. I have to tell you, when you threw me away, someone else picked me up.”

Julie’s face, remarkably, went even paler.

“What do you mean Dave?”

“I’ve met someone else, Julie. She started off as just a friend that helped me through this. God knows I needed one. My only friend having just walked out on me. I’m sorry Julie, but you gambled and you lost.”

With a clear conscience, I strode to the door and walked out into a new life. If I was quick, I might just be able to make story time.

The end.

What are boys made of?

Snips and snails

And puppy-dogs’ tails

What are girls made of?

Sugar and spice

And all things nice

So how come they taste like fish?