By Vandemonium1
If you are a fan of swinging, I urge you to read no further. This story WILL offend you. It points out some of the obvious dangers.
Thank you Mr Negrum, for the title.
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“For Christ’s sake Giuseppe, I told you I don’t want to talk about that and I certainly don’t want to have sex with you now. I’m tired let me go to sleep.”
“Why can’t we have sex,” her husband whined, “It’s been over 5 weeks since we’ve done it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it now. Can we talk about it tomorrow night?”
“Alright. So long as you promise to tell me what I’ve done wrong tomorrow.”
“I promise.”
The following night
“Giuseppe, I want a divorce.”
“What?”
“I did warn you, when you pressured me into this open marriage, that there was a danger of one of us falling in love with someone else. Well its happened. I have been seeing a guy for four months now and he wants me to live with him and see if we are compatible enough to get married. I’ve said yes.”
“Four bloody months. What happened to our rule of never seeing someone else more than 3 times?”
“Your rule Giuseppe, they were always your rules. I told you when you suggested this two years ago it was a stupid idea.”
“Is he bigger than me, can he last longer, do you love him?”
“Yes, yes and yes. He’s bigger than you, well that’s not hard. Think about it. I was happy with you and would never have known how small your cock was, compared to the average, if you hadn’t pressured me into trying others. Yes, he has more stamina. He takes me to places I hadn’t even dreamed about. At first I thought it might be just because he was new and different, but the novelty has worn off and he still gets me off every time. Yes, I do love him. I wouldn’t live with him otherwise.”
“But you can’t leave me, what will I do?”
“Look Giuseppe you only have yourself to blame. I told you when you started to put the pressure on, that I was a one-man woman. I just want to find a man that wants me and only me. Someone I can say to, “you’re mine and I’m yours.“
“But I love you Jane.”
“I know Giuseppe. That’s what makes this so hard. In a way I still love you as well. But a marriage needs more than love. It needs respect as well, and frankly I stopped respecting you when you insisted on this arrangement. You pointed out last night that it’s been five weeks since we made love. Do you know why it’s been so long Giuseppe? It’s because Pete, my new boyfriend, wanted me all to himself. He can’t stand the idea of me sleeping with someone else. That’s one of the things I’ve always looked for in a man.
“Oh don’t look so surprised Giuseppe. How can any woman respect a man who not only tolerates his wife fucking other men, but pressures her to do it? Come on, surely you don’t expect me to respect you. It confuses me how you can even respect yourself. Maybe that’s it. Maybe you don’t.”
“I could turn that argument around. I’ve slept with other women.”
“Have you Giuseppe, have you really? Sure you went out on some nights early on in our new lifestyle, but that stopped over a year and a half ago. I’m not convinced you didn’t just go to a bar for the night, then come back and lie about what you’d done. It’s always been about me hasn’t it Giuseppe? Don’t you realise that in the last year the only time you’ve even gotten hard is when I’ve come home from a night out and told you what I’d done. I mean what sort of man does that Giuseppe? I’ll tell you for nothing, if you want your next relationship to last, you need treatment Giuseppe. Pete said that he reckoned that any man that actually wanted his wife to fuck other guys must be a closet gay. I think I lost most of the respect I had left for you, when I started to believe that.
“No, don’t try to talk me out of it Giuseppe. I need a real man in my life and I’m afraid it isn’t you. I have the divorce papers here. I think it’s fair that I give you a week to move out. Pete’s lease is up in two, so be out before then please.”
“But I don’t want to leave, I don’t want a divorce.”
“God Giuseppe, stop whining. Please don’t make me lose what little respect I have left for you. You only have yourself to blame. Remember that conversation we had at the start? I warned you about what might happen if I met a man that pleased me more than you. You were my first, you know that. I had nothing to compare you to. I was always happy with our sex life, but now I’ve been with Pete, well no more faking orgasms for me. Whether you want a divorce or not it’s going to happen. Please if you love me like you say you do, give me my freedom.”
“What about the children?”
“Fuck, this is so hard Giuseppe. I don’t know how to put this. I told them both why I was kicking you out. You know honesty is always the best policy. Well, when I’d finished, they wanted to stay here with me. I don’t think they respect you much anymore either Giuseppe.
Later at a bar. Giuseppe is half drunk and talking to the barman.
“Who the fuck was that depressing prick?”
“Oh that’s our resident failed author, Frank Lloyd friends-call-me-Pollux. Friends, right. He’s here every night and I aint never seen no friends. Sorry I should have warned you about him. He upsets all my new customers. We get all the fuckin weirdos in here. See that piece over there in the red dress?”
“Yeah. The one with the big tits, lots of makeup and… the 5 o’clock shadow?”
“Yep that’s the one. That’s another of our special people. It says its name is Mary. Funny when I went to school with him, his name was Roger. Went a bit troppo after he got done for sodomy and indecent exposure. Now he’s convinced he’s a woman. I tried to do my public duty and showed him his picture in our high school yearbook, but he just went nuts and hit me with her handbag. I warn you buddy, don’t accept a drink from her, him, it. Fuck this politically correct bullshit. Just watch yer back.”
Epilogue
Giuseppe woke up hungover and confused. He opened his eyes, then tried to figure out which whore’s bed he’d woken up in. No one else had pink sheets. He felt a surge of confidence rush through him. “Screw Jane, I’ll show her who can please a woman.”
He saw the red dress in a crumpled heap on the floor.
“Fuck, not again!”
The end.
Dear reader. You will notice that I have voting turned on. I am afraid of neither your votes nor your comments.
Proudly, the author known as Vandemonium1.
How many swingers does it take to change a light bulb?
Who cares? K
Please put this in LW. Too good not to share.
Hiya
It was published on LE for about a month. It was an attack story against Swingerjoe in response to an attack story of his. It served its purpose so I removed it to raise the tone of the site. And there it stands.
Very funny Van. I hadn’t read this one